


Harry's Summer Vacation

by BallBallIceBall



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Fluff, Free!Sirius, Harry gets to live with wolfstar, M/M, Merlin help me this is nothing but fluff, Siriusly fluffy
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-10-16
Updated: 2019-05-26
Packaged: 2019-08-03 00:28:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 7,380
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16315601
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BallBallIceBall/pseuds/BallBallIceBall
Summary: Truth to be told, Remus might be more than a bit nervous about living with Sirius.Sirius Black, his friend, his crush, his love since his fourth year at Hogwarts (and all the years after).An old fashioned AU in which Peter get caught, Sirius was set free, and Harry get to live with his godfather and ex-professor, enjoying his best summer vacation ever.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> this story was already complete. I originally wrote it in my mother tongue, but later decide that may be I should translate it into English and share it with more wolfstar lovers (if anyone is interested, that is).  
> Please forgive me for stupid grammar mistakes. My grammar basically sucks. New chapters would be uploaded once or twice a week, Merlin bless my translation speed.  
> I do not own any of the characters. They belong to JKRowling. 
> 
> So, enjoy!

01.

"How is it?" Harry held the phone nervously, feeling a stir in his stomach.  
"Hello? Hello? Can you hear me? Merlin's beard, I really can't understand this muggle telef--Harry? Are you still there?" Ron grumbled at the other end of the phone, and was quickly relieved after hearing Harry’s answer, "Thank Merlin it finally worked -"  
"--Ron, the _TRIAL_ ! What happened?!" Harry eagerly interrupted him.  
"Oh yes, Sirius's trial!" Ron immediately forgot the "Telefong" thing, and his voice perked up. "Just got the news from Mom, Harry, guess what? Your godfather was acquitted. Innocent and released in court, and Peter is about to accept the dementor kiss!  
"Oh thank god..." Suddenly relieved, Harry couldn't even stop the huge smile on his face.  
Ron kept on chatting: "Heard that the minister didn’t seem too happy, but after the trial he still went to Sirius and tried to play nice. I mean, 12 years ago he was the one who sent Sirius Black directly to prison without any decent interrogation. How dare he? - But fuck him, Harry you’ll wait and see. Sirius is definitely going to be the headline of the Daily Prophet tomorrow, and Fudge will definitely be drowned by howlers from all over the wizarding world."  
"Yes, of course, of course," Harry was too happy to come up with rational words, "I really want to see tomorrow's Daily Prophet, Ron, can you owl it to me tomorrow?"

Vernon was yelling behind him: "If you DARE let those damn owls enter my window, I will-"  
"—You will what? Oh, uncle, my godfather is coming back." Harry was so happy that he didn't even bother to be angry with his uncle, just turned his head and said innocently and excitedly to Vernon. In fact, this sentence alone is enough to scare Vernon into a whistle--after all, Harry's godfather is a "notorious murderer who is at large."

Harry didn't care what his uncle thought and how he reacted. Now he couldn't restrain his smile anymore, joy swelling in his chest like a cotton candy.  
Sirius is free.  
After twelve years, he finally is going to move in with his real family!  
Too many things happened in the past year. He got to meet the best Defense Against Dark Art professor in history, discover the truth about his parents' death, and also have a true family - a godfather, who even invited him to live together!  
They captured the real traitor Peter, handed him over to the Ministry of Magic under the media's overwhelming flashlight, and then, the Ministry of Magic's mailbox was smashed by angry accusing letters for poor Sirius Black. No, Harry was _NOT_ sorry at all. If he could, he even wanted to write a dozen Howlers himself - who gave Fudge the right to throw an innocent man into Azkaban without trial?

But anyway, Sirius Black needed a trial, and a trial took time, combining with other messy stuff like inheritance and guardian changing, which probably would waste a ton of time more, thanks to the most useless bureaucracy System in the world– In short, when the third year ended and the summer began, Harry had no choice but to go back to her aunt's house at Privet Drive first and wait for Sirius's trial with daily growing anxiety.  
And now everything is over, in the best way.  
Harry hung up the phone, ignoring the angry reprimand of his aunt and uncle, and went up the floor. He should start packing.

 

Sirius Black stepped out of the Ministry of Magic. Outside the telephone booth stood a Remus Lupin, a long umbrella in hand, having been waiting for a long time. This is a humid afternoon in London, grey rain covering the entire city, washing away all the dirt and heat. Through the cool showering rain, Sirius Black looked at his friend on the other side, and smiled for first smile in a month.  
"I am free." He spread his arms, embraceing the cold rain.  
"Welcome back," Remus's umbrella isolated a dry world from the top. The young Hogwarts DADA ex-professor raised an eyebrow, with a rare gentleness and warmth in his wide amber eyes. "I’m pretty sure Fudge has not been messing up with you?"  
Sirius snorted: "How dare he?"  
"Indeed," Remus softly chuckled. "So, I guess we’ll see you on the front page of the Daily Prophet tomorrow. Your mailbox would probably be swarming with letters from all women in England within a week. Be ready, Pads. "  
Sirius lowered his head and groaned a quick "Merlin's beard", at which Remus couldn't help but laugh.  
This was an old umbrella, with an old-fashioned brown plaid pattern, and space slightly squeezy underneath it, barely fit for two adult men. Remus holds it, feeling Sirius's breath is at such intimacy, and this familiar scent just like twelve years ago is almost suffocating.  
Twelve years.  
The truth finally came to light, and Sirius finally returned. Returned to the British magic world, and returned to his life. Under his calm and restrained surface, Remus’s hand holding the umbrella trembled invisibly. Inevitably, he thought of James, thought of Lily, the war, the cruel death, the cruel betrayal and -

Then the hand that he held the umbrella suddenly felt a touch on the skin, and Sirius held the handle of the umbrella, inadvertently brushing pass his fingers, sending a warm shoot of electricity down his spine. "Let me hold it," After a moment’s silence, Sirius spoke. He almost looked awkward, looked down into Remus's eyes, with a weird kind of eager and sincere under his lashes.  
"...if you’d like so." Quietly, Remus exhaled and nodded, trying to ease the embarrassment hanging between them. Sirius has always been the taller one, probably half a head taller than him. Sirius almost never used an umbrella when he was young and vigorous and carefree, simply because he couldn't stand Peter (who was shorter than him and was a lot more clumsier) kept making this fucking umbrella stuck with his head.  
Remus, meanwhile, has always had enough care and enough love to avoid such tragedies - whether in the past or today, even after twelve years of separation.

Sirius propped up the umbrella high, cool rain drops sliding down alongside the umbrella, filling this silence with the soft white noises. He slowly moved forward, and after a long hesitation, he finally cleared his throat, "So... eh, Moony, I have been thinking about one thing... ”  
"Uh huh?"  
Sirius's hesitation was so obvious that Remus almost thought there was something big going on."Can I, eh, stay at your place for a while?" said Sirius, and Remus was suddenly relieved and sad at the same time.  
"...Oh." was Remus's only answer, his voice low and gentle, like a summer dusk breeze.  
"You know Remus, I asked Harry if he would like to move over and live with me. He agreed. But I don't have a house - I mean, I really don't want to go back to the disgusting old house in Grimmaud Place. You know how much I despise that place." When talking about his godson and his own past, Sirius visibly became more fluent, "It takes some time to buy a new one, and it has to be arranged and decoration, which would probably took a while to finish. So, I was thinking, Moony, can I—Harry and I , live with you first? At least I wish to give Harry a home first, can't stand letting him suffer from Petunia anymore... What’s up? Remus? ”  
Halfway through his talking, Sirius found Remus slightly frowning, looking at him with a strange look, like relief, like sorrow.  
So much had they grown apart, after twelve years of separation.  
"You already know my answer," Remus pressed back his surprise and pain, his voice as quiet and gentle as he could, "Don't ask silly questions, Padfoot."  
".....Oh." Sirius stared blankly, and then slowly revealed a canine-like smile. " _Oh._ Yeah. "  
“Pads, You knew this. I can do anything for Harry, whatever he wishes."  
"Of course," Sirius answered without hesitation. "We are all the same."

Of course they are all the same about that. And they knew each other too well, more than necessary and more than any other.  
They stepped into the rain together, with Sirius holding the umbrella, walking in brisk strides, "I’ll change into my best clothes, take my wand, arrange Harry's room, and then I’ll go to the Dusley’s to pick up my godson, giving Petunia a real proper revenge."  
"Try not to use too many hexes alright?" Remus suggested. "You certainly don't want to get yourself into Azkaban again right after getting out, especially in front of Harry."  
"Oh my dear old Moony, I have a hundred ways to fool the Ministry."  
"Why of course," Remus's smile was still gentle and innocent. "And I happen to know another hundred."

So they put on their best guardian-like clothes, sorted out a room for Harry, took their wands, and knocked their way right into the Dusley's house, giving the Dusley a dozen of hexes.  
Well, technically speaking they were not Siriusly serious harm charms, only making Petunia bald and fat, giving Vernon a big pig nose and marking all the walls in the house with bloody red inks which screamed "Sorry, Lily. Sorry, James." a hundred times (Sirius's handwriting is a bit crazy). When Harry followed them out of the door with his suitcase in hand, he could hardly hide his curiosity and _awe_. "Professor Lupin, what did you do to Dudley? He looked frightened."  
"Oh, nothing special," Remus said lightly. "It’s just your cousin will complete all the housework in this house for the next fourteen years, sleeping in the cupboard under the stairs, wearing old grumpy outfits, experiences a glance of the life you have been living."  
Harry widened his eyes: "How is that possible?"  
"Harry, I am not your professor anymore. You can just call me Remus." The former Hogwarts Professor smiled warmly, with a rare true easiness in his voice. "I just used a few spells on the cleaning tools, pots and pans in that house so that anyone apart from your cousin who touches them will be blistered with green blisters and smell like stinking ditch."  
"…… _Wow_."  
"No, that's not everything yet Harry," Sirius's smile was full of excitement, showing a glimpse of the vigor and handsomeness back his golden old days on his now withered shadowy visage. "Moony is a true DEVIL. Can you ever can imagine what he makes the little fattie do? He actually let that chubby potato read!!! At least fifty pages of Muggle literature, one thousand words of reading notes, twenty pages of math and French practice each day, or he will become long Pinocchio in the nose, with a face full of acne – Oh Moony you are such a genius!"  
Remus shrugged, with his signiture expression of a good teacher, smiled: "I just think that boys at his age need to spend more time studying, don't they?"  
"Very professorial style, Moony, I am convinced." All of a sudden, Sirius’s expression changed. "Wait, you didn't do this to Harry did you?"  
The answer was given to him by Harry: "Of course not!"

Gentle summer breeze embraced them, in the tender twilight, the three laughed. Remus and Sirius took Harry's hand, with a snap, they apparated.


	2. Lupin's Cottage

 

 

Lupin's cottage was located on a deserted outskirt of northern England, on the gentle slopes of the endless plains. The only bulge was this small house. It looked a bit worn, but magical protection made its outside intact, its inside still tidy and cozzy.

Harry fell in love with the house at first sight, and didn't mind this awkward temporary arrangement **_at all_**. No, how could he ever mind that! Honestly, he was more than grateful to Professor Lupin. This cottage is exactly what he imagined, small and warm, with two floors up and down, a warm fireplace and (weirdly but nicely), a muggle TV - he even had a room to himself! Specially decorated for him!

Holding his breath, Harry walked into his room, almost in awe: warm gold and scarlet occupied most of the sight, with lively Quidditch poster on the wall. The bed looks soft and warm, luxuriously big for a teenage boy. Beside the window stood a bird frame, comfortably squatted on which, was Hedwig.

"Remus tells me that you have a beloved owl," Sirius's voice rang behind him. "So we thought it would be best to set a place for this little beauty in your room."

Harry was almost too happy to speak,"Thank you, ** _thank you_** , Sirius! And thank Professor Lupin for me, please?"

Sirius smirked. "Call him Remus, and I will tell you for him. Don't be so timid, Harry."

Harry shyly smiled."Then……I think I will go downstairs and talk to Remus myself."

Sirius laughed: "This is right! You know, he would be so happy. Anyway -like your room Harry?"

Harry’s eyes were filled with huge bright smile: “It couldn’t have been better.”

 

After their first home dinner together, after Harry thanked Remus while having a dessert (Sweet Merlin they actually had dessert afterwards! chocolate cookies Sprinkled with icing!), Remus-the nominal owner of the house - tapped the teacup with a small spoon and pleasantly spoke up: "Now, gentlemen, there are a few things I may need your attention."

Harry immediately put down his cup and looked at him. Sirius sipped his coffee, revealing a smile that was not too _serious_ : "House rules, Moony?"

"For you, yes," Remus winked to Harry, "For Harry, no. In fact, it's just a few things to keep in mind... for security, if I’ll have to say."

"Double standard Moony, that’s not so ** _Perfectly_**."

"Why Thank you." Remus smiled and didn't even blink. "Now, listen. First, this house has been added dozens of protection wards by Albus and me. Generally speaking, there should be no big security problems. But just in case, Harry's room upstairs and the living room downstairs have a port key that leads directly to the Dusley's house - don't stare at me like this, Sirius, Lily's blood ward is still there, for Harry that's still the safest place - you know, it is only under such condition did Albus allow Harry to stay with us."

Sirius pouted, looking disgusted.

Remus ignored him, just looking straight at Harry, and said gently: "So Harry, in case of any emergency, we want you to immediately take the port key and leave this place, can you manage?"

"But how I can’t just leave you -"

Sirius cuts off his words directly, his tone rare and serious: "No buts. We will have a way, don't worry about it. Just promise us that you can do it, will you?"

Harry seemed to want to argue, but finally gave up and nodded his head: "I promise."

Sirius looked relieved: "Thank you, Harry."

“And there is another thing,” Remus said. “The house is under the protection of a spell within three kilometers. Within this range, Harry is free to move around. But you’d probably better not run alone outside of this range, it that okay? I mean, At least let one of us stay with you, just in case."

It wasn't a hard request. Harry could understand their care and concern for his safety, so he quickly nodded: "No problem, I get that."

"Okay, then I think that’s enough for the second point." Remus sipped his darjeeling and continued. "There is a third point though, that I may require your help - Oh, it's nothing serious, you don’t have to be nervous."

"What, Pro--" Harry bit his tongue, "Eh, Remus?"

Remus Lupin smiled. "Oh, no a big deal. Just don't let Sirius get close to the kitchen, okay?"

"What?!" Sirius stared at him unbelievably, nearly jumped.

Remus pointed out calmly,"The last time you went into the kitchen, you almost filled the whole room with cream. Sirius, it took me a whole day to clean them all up, but I still couldn't save your stove that was completely stuffed by cream." 

"It’s not my fault that those god damn puffs blew up! I was just trying to eat them hot. Who knew that they would jump up and commit suicide attacks?" Sirius protested. "And all that happened twelve years ago, Moony! ** _Twelve years ago_**!"

"Yes, twelve years have passed, and I still don't trust your cooking skills. Besides, who would heat up the puffs? _Siriously_?" Remus raised his eyebrows and put down his tea. "All in all, just try to be friendly to my little kitchen okay Padfoot? If you break it, we'll then have to feed ourselves on wood armchairs."

Harry couldn't help but laugh. Sirius reluctantly twisted his eyebrow."alright Moony, whatever you say."

 

To sum up, this was the happiest day Harry had ever had since the beginning of the summer vacation. After the meal, Harry chatted for a while, watched an episode of _Yes Minister_ , and then said good night, going upstairs to sleep.

After all, today is a long enough day.

Remus sighed and fell into the sofa, completely relaxed. A moment ago, Sirius also went upstairs to rest,  leaving him finally alone in the living room, staring at the flame in the fireplace, feeling the endless exhaustion washing over him like irresistible tide.

Since being bitten and turned into a werewolf, he had never thought that everything he longed for would one day come true. A home. A lover. A child. And perhaps a dog, a huge black dog. Living with Sirius and Harry was like a real family, like what he had always wanted deep down, like a golden and scarlet dream, too sweet and too fragile.

 

No, _stop_. Remus bites his lower lip, and the pain makes him restrain. You cannot, and you shouldn’t ask for more.

He felt the joy and satisfaction he had never had before, as well as the faint uneasiness crouching in his stomach. Although he still looked calm and gentle as always, he knew in his heart, that everything was not as calm as it seemed.

 

Truth to be told, Remus might be more than a bit nervous about living with Sirius.

Sirius Black, his friend, his crush, his love since his fourth year at Hogwarts (and all the years after).

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i know this one is kinda short,sorry about that......but the next one will be longer. How do you like it so far?  
> Remus concealed his feelings well, and had absolutely no idea how Sirius felt about him (or had the absolutely wrong idea). Love is blind, what can I say?


	3. Shopping

 

03.

 

Next morning, the front page of the Daily Prophet was quite dramatic (maybe a bit over-dramatic actually, because it was using “sweet boy””angel hearted” to describe Sirius).

The article (which seemed to ignore all the objective nature that news reports should have) introduced the readers to Sirius Black’s Injustice, expresses her deep sympathy for this young (not really), good-looking (not really as he was back then as well), rich, and the one last heir to the Ancient and Noble House of Black, and seriously condemns the Ministry for throwing Sirius into Azkaban without trial. Along with that photo, in which stood an innocent man who had just walked out of the court, thin and ghost-like, yet still remarkably handsome with his piercing grey eyes and his silk dark robe, the front article is touching enough to earn the overwhelming anger and tears from all male and (absolutely all) female readers.

Remus sipped his first cup of Darjeeling this morning and commented, "Very touching, very. The author seems to be even a bigger drama queen than you, Padfoot."

"Hey, I'm insulted! " Sirius fake-pouted and laughed. "But anyway, she’s good at this. It's pretty inflammatory. Fudge probably hates her now."

It was true. This news report was super inflammatory, somehow super hilarious, and super super _awesome_. Whatever annoyed Fudge was awesome, Harry decided, and read the article enthusiastically for a second time, even forgetting his bacon all along.

 

Living with Remus and Sirius was better than Harry could have imagined.

Every morning, he could sleep however late he wished, and when he got up, a delicious breakfast was always already waiting for him (Remus insists on not letting him do any house chores). After that, he could play a game with his godfather, or do some summer homework with the help of the best DADA professor he ever had (Hermione would be sooooo jealous). Life is quiet, but never boring - With Sirius and Remus by his side, how could he really get bored? Both of them are really nice people. A million percent nicer than the Dudleys, and absolutely a billion percent cooler. When in the right mood, Sirius can be _very_ talkative, and Remus's cool humor is enough to make anyone laugh.

But Harry still couldn't help but notice those silence moments. A long long quietness stretched between Sirius and Remus, like those everlasting twelve years, like those scars- too many memories, too much loss, haunting and loving and _suffocating_. There was once when Sirius was awkwardly trying to help Remus clean up the dishes after dinner, both of them so busy at doing housework that they accidentally broke a plate.

A clash of broking porcelain startled Harry. He looked up in the direction, and Remus and Sirius seemed to froze at the same moment.

"I'm sorry," Sirius quickly bent down and tried to clean up. "I’ll clean it up, Remus, I’m sure going to buy you some more -"

Remus grabbed his wrist faster and stopped him. "Watch your hand. Let me take care of it."

"No, no, Remus, it is me who broke it, I’ll have to -"

"Sirius," Remus sighed. "For Merlin's pants’ sake, you are a wizard! Use your wand, not your hand, will you?"

"...Oh." Sirius stayed frozen for a while, swallowing his curse, and "Why am I so stupid" written all over his face.

Remus gently smiled. "You know Sirius, I have been used to your disability at handling household chores - after all, I was the one who used to live with you - so it doesn't really matter, and I don’t mind some cleaning up."

"But--" Sirius frowned.

"But it's not for free," Remus sighed softly, and made a concession. "You have to buy me a new set of ceramic tableware – a very good one."

Sirius looked at him, blinked, then slowly smirked, dark eyes shining like starlight. "Oh, I will buy you one of the most luxurious, Moony. Even more luxurious than Sluggy's festive robes."

 

The atmosphere between them was subtle, Harry realized with intuition and curiosity. Twelve years- twelve years of coldness and separation-was something hard and painful to get over with. Sirius and Remus were trying to approach each other in such an awkward and clumsy way that is almost endearing.

They simple cherished each other too much to move forward without hesitation and the afraid of lost.

Tentative fingers, brief gentle touches, broken plates, and the _stares,_ when one of they thought the other was not watching.

Harry felt bitter for them, and sweet, and bitter-sweet.

 

The countryside of northern England is calm enough not to be disturbed by any annoying Muggle neighbors or (worse,) wizarding neighbors. Harry suspects this quietness was perhaps is one of the real reasons why Sirius chose to stay here. After all, there were already tons of mails flying like heavy December snowflakes to this isolated cottage every day. In fact, there were so many letters that feeding the owls alone had quickly drained Remus's bread storage (and Sirius’s patience). Some of the letters came from the old acquaintance, but most of them came from media, newspapers and journalists, craving for this hiding new celebrity, madly begging for an interview or even a tiny piece of news.

There was no doubt that Sirius Black was the hot spot of the wizarding world this summer. His loyalty that made an innocent man stay in Azkaban for 12 years, his identity as the last and only heir of Black, his rebel and his mystery, everything about Sirius Black is catching people's curiosity. In fact, the attention casted on him was so intensive that Harry even felt he could not be called a celebrity comparing to his godfather. This feeling was so fresh to him that Harry never felt bored about it. Every day, he spent an hour reading and sorting out those colorful letters (because Padfoot is ready to eat them otherwise), and can't help thinking that if they lived in Hogsmeade or London, the threshold must have been broken by all those visitors.

 

It wasn't until that day when Harry took another letter and, as usual, wanted to get something to feed the little owl, did he realize that they were running out of bread.

Alright, all crazy (unilateral) social’s fault.

Sirius happily announced: "We need to shop! Bread, eggs, bacon, and a dozen rock records!"

His enthusiasm was as high as flying, like a big dog that had been locked up too long, urgently asking for some sports- hell, his tail would have been wagging (if he turned into Padfoot now).

Remus calmly pointed out."Times has changed. No one listens to records anymore. They now have tape."

"Oh, then a dozen tapes shall it be, whatever." Sirius waved his hand. "I’m going to buy you a cupboard of chocolate, Moony, a cupboard! Really, you need to put on some weight Remus. I’ll stuff steak and chicken into stomach until you cannot take more, make sure you are properly feeding yourself."

"Padfo -"

"-No buts." Sirius beamed. "I owe you a super gorgeous plate, remember?"

Remus frowned slightly, but was interrupted by Sirius before he ever opened his mouth. "I know what you want to say, Moony, but this is not a discussion – I’m paying the bill."

 

The Financial problem. The air seems to freeze for a second.

Remus quietly looked at him through long golden lashes, never moving an inch of his stare: "Sirius, when I used to live in your apartment, you never let me pay a penny."

"But you took care of all the housework, remember?" Sirius said. "Considering that you forbid me to enter the kitchen and didn't even let me touch a fucking broom, I cannot just sponge off and be a couch potato, can I?"

"I--"

"Let the god damn Black’s gold finally do some good, Moony," Sirius said, almost cursing. "The best solution for those gallons is to be spent for Harry and you."

"Sirius, you know I don't want to..." Remus's eyes dropped, his voice hesitant. But in a blink second Sirius had already disappeared in front of him. Instead, there was a giant black dog, tail eagerly wagging, bright wet puppy eyes looking at him, almost pleadingly.

... Now  _That_  is cheating.

After suffocating for a second or two, Remus finally sighed. He bent down and scratched the soft fur of Padfoot's ear: "Okay, fine, _fine_. For Harry, just for Harry."

Padfoot barked and happily ran around Remus's legs.

 

So they floo to London, in a random summer afternoon.

When Sirius walked out of the fireplace at the Leaky Cauldron, the lively vocals around him seemed to be quiet for a moment. He strode into the bar, dark long hair flowing back like everlasting night. Excessive weight loss and vicissitudes made his cheekbone stood out, a sharp and fierce kind of handsome stunned anyone who set eyes on him. Sirius Black was just so calm and open and arrogant as ever, standing in everyone's attention. Behind him, Remus and Harry walked out of the fireplace.

Former prisoner, savior, werewolf, this is no common sight, but surely enough for a gossip.

The boss was the first to say hello: "Oh, Sirius Black, haven't seen you here for years. Want some fire whiskey?"

"Not really, busy today." Sirius’s voice was like a wind, passing through the hall. “Thanks old Tom, probably next time.”

 

He ignored the whispers in the bar, and Diagon alley unfolded in front of them. They first went to Gringotts to withdraw some money, then split up to buy what they needed: Remus went to find the quill, parchment and old second-handed books, while Sirius and Harry went for food and tableware, wander around and feel the vigor of magic world.

Usually, Harry didn't enjoy the people's excessive attention, but at this moment he didn't really care about the people on the street whispering about them- Oh, Sirius is by his side, what else would he care about? His godfather is even more famous than him, and is now buying him a lemon sorbet, which has probably  all the chocolate sauce in the world on the top of it.

Harry was halfway through when they arrived at the doorstep of Madam Malkins Robes. Sirius let Harry wait at the door for a while ("I think she might not want someone with ice cream to enter her store"), and a moment later he came out with a bag in his hand, meeting Harry's curious eyes. "Sirius, what did you buy? Can I have a look?"

"Oh, It’s just a robes. For Remus." Sirius smiled a little. It was a light brown velvet robe(Harry noticed that it matched the color of Remus's eyes), with soft, delicate fabrics and fine workmanship ,the corner of which was embroidered with gold threads, writing "RJL".

Sirius opened his mouth and took a deep breath. "So, Harry……can you do me a favor?"

"What?" Harry put the robe back into the bag and looked a little surprised.

"Give this robe to Remus and tell him this is your gift for him."

"What?!" Harry widened his eyes in astonishment. "Sirius, this is what you bought for Remus!!! I can't, I can't – I mean, why don't you give it to him yourself?"

"Because I can't," Sirius wrinkled his eyebrows almost irritably, and there was a rare sadness in his tone. "Remus won't accept it, if it is me who give it to him. Hell, he probably would be mad at me, I'm not sure - I'm just don't want to hurt his self-esteem."

Harry asked hesitantly, "But I think Remus will be happy about it...?"

"He likes it, and is happy about it, doesn't mean he will accept it. I cannot just simple send him anything expensive, even it's worth nothing compared to him." Sirius sighed and bit his teeth. "Really, Harry, you have no idea how much persist Remus can be. After we graduated, the war had started, and job is hard to find, not to mention Moony’s furry little problem. Except for your father's family inheritage, we don't have a stable source of income.So, to make sure that Remus actually live a normal human being’s life, James and I had to help him in the most subtle way. James helps me, and I live with Remus to make sure he feeds himself properly– all because Remus refuses to accept James’s money."

"...But," Harry couldn't help but feel sad for them. "But even if I gave it Remus, he probably wouldn't accept it..."

"Oh, he will," Sirius smiled. It was a bitter one. "Trust me, Harry. He can't really refuse you."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> happy halloween guys! hope you enjoy the update


	4. Alcohol

04.

 

Remus loved Harry very _very_ much. Sirius knew that Remus never loved Harry any less than he did -- it was just that the ways they loved were so different, Sirius’s pure and ardent and unleashed, while Remus’s being deep, quiet, almost forbearing.

When Harry was born, they all agreed that Sirius should be Harry's Godfather. And Sirius, that fearless Gryfindor sex god Sirius Black, was almost too happy to remain in his human status.

"But, but Remus will be better than me, " Sirius stammered, as if unable to believe his good fortune. "You know, James, he's always been the most -- "

" -- don't, Pads. " Remus replied, before James could even stop him, gentle and calm. "You're the most suitable one, we both know that. "

"How could I be better than you in this? For the sake of MERLIN'S PUMPKIN PANTS, you're a born teacher and father. Remus, I can almost see you with a baby in arm! "

"I won't have children, " Remus said, looking at him quietly. "You know why. "

Sirius frowned. “Remus… "

"Do not argue, it's the truth, and we both know it. I would never let an innocent child suffer the way I did, never ever. " Remus said, lowering his eyes. His voice was calm, like a frozen lake, protecting the soft, deep flow below, when his eyes fell on the baby in the cradle. Harry was fast asleep, his little fists clenched, white and soft.

This is the continuation of the James and Lily. So small, so precious.

Remus softened.

"I have Harry, and that's enough. " he said calmly and firmly. "Even if I can't be a good enough Godfather, I will love Harry as much as I do for James and Lily, and I will love, care for and protect him more than my own life. "

James laid his hand on his shoulder. "Thanks, Moony. "

"You're welcome, Prongs. " Remus laughed. "Besides, there are other privileges for me. I get to spend all my time with Harry when Sirius got to wash all the diapers – Godfather’s duty, isn’t it? "

Sirius protested, "Hey! Don't even think I would let that happen! "

Remus simply smiled. "We'll see. "

Remus Lupin often indulges the one he truly loves in an almost unreserved way -- to James, to Sirius (at least it was once the case), to lily, and even Peter -- not to mention to Lily and James'son Harry.

But now it's ** _impossible_** for him to have Remus’s love and tolerance, Sirius thought bitterly. Not after everything he had screwed up.

 

Sirius wasn't surprised by how things turned out. Remus wanted to say no, but Harry insisted. "I just want to help you, Remus, and I think mom and dad would want me to do the same. " He looked at his former professor with his clear emerald Eyes.

Who can really say no to lily's eyes?

Sirius can't, and he didn’t think Remus can.

After they had done their shopping at Diagon Alley, the trio headed to the Muggle supermarket in a nearby town and bought a bunch of snacks, clothes, tapes, and other odds, returning home with their hands completely full.

That night, they had a sumptuous dinner of pizza and roast chicken from a muggle London pizzeria that had people lining up, a salmon salad, and carrots and kale from their own yard.  There was even opera cake from the bakery on Diagon Alley, topped with a layer of mirror like chocolate sauce so sweet that it melted your tongue.

Harry went to bed early, probably exhausted from shopping. Sirius took a bottle of whiskey and two glasses from the cupboard and dropped them on the table.

Remus looked at him as he poured, eyebrows raised. "When did you buy this? "

"When Harry wasn't looking. " Sirius offered him a glass of alcohol, amber-clear golden liquid shaking in the glass. "Want some? "

Remus stared at him for a few seconds, then nodded silently, took the glass and looked away.

Sirius sat down on the couch across from him, took a swig, staring at the tiny ladybug on the worn lampshade.

 

Then a long silence fell between them, in the dim light of the summer night, when the world became silent.

Time seemed to stop here, while they are immersed in deep memories - those happy, golden, carefree days, as if yesterday repeated. Through strong alcohol, memories burned brightly with the golden flames. Those lights illuminated their dim eyes, illuminated this gloomy summer night, illuminated this cold, ashy reality, even only a little bit.

The four of them had such wonderful school days. They had thought they would have a bright future, that their friendship would last forever. They proudly claimed themselves marauders, wasting the best years of their lives messing Hogwarts up.

And now it's all gone.

James is gone, Lily is gone, Peter betrayed and was given a dementor's kiss, gone as well. There’s only just Remus and Sirius, two canines, dog and wolf, two broken aching souls, cuddling and licking each other's wounds under the moon.

They had nothing left but Harry and each other. It was better to share this silence than to be left alone.

Under the dim orange light, their faces blurred. Sirius and Remus drank their whiskey in the dark shadows, as if two canines losing their own pack.

Eventually, Sirius put down his empty glass and cleared his throat, breaking the silence with husky, deep voice. "It's late, I think I’m going to bed. " he said, rising from the sofa.

As if waking from a dream, Remus finished the last drop and nods, "Then good night, Sirius. "

"Good night, Remus. "

Turning and heading for the stairs, Sirius heard Remus's voice at the last moment before he left, silent and soft as the night.

"By the way, thanks for the robe, Sirius. "

Sirius stopped, "... You knew?"

"Seriously, Padfoot, you guys are really bad liars. " Remus sighed.

"... Then why did you pretend that you don’t know a thing, and still kept it?"

Remus lowered his eyes, with a slight hesitation. "I just thought... maybe you'd be happy. "

"... Oh."That's the oniy thing Sirius could manage to say. For a moment, he looked at Remus under the lamp, and could hardly even contain himself. Remus. ** _Oh, Remus._**

Twelve years of remorse and regret flushing through his mind, Sirius opened his mouth, only to find his own voice almost broken."I'm -- I'm sorry, Remus."

Remus slowly raises his head. "You know, Sirius, I don't mind you smashing a few plates. They're old enough to retire anyway. "

"I'm not talking about the plates! I mean, I'm not apologizing only for the plates, even though it was my fault... "

"What's this about, then? " Remus asked.

"For everything." Sirius says, suddenly feeling hard to breathe. He hadn’t expected all his emotions would suddenly pour all out all at this sudden very moment. But he went on speaking, hurried and stumbling. "I was a total jerk, Moony, I shouldn't have treated you like that. I shouldn't have doubted you. I shouldn't have convinced James to replace the secret-keeper with Peter -- Damn it -- I screwed up so _so_ much... I just... I don't know how to make it up for you. I'm sorry, Moony. I'm sorry. I should’ve known better. I should’ve known that you would never betray James."

"..."Remus turns his eyes toward Sirius for the first time. Eyes almost lost and bewildered, he slowly examined Sirius's face. After a long silence, he finally asked, "Sirius, why exactly did you suspect that I was the traitor? Just because I was a werewolf? "

"What? **No!** \-- of course it's because Peter fucking **_framed_** you! " Sirius gritted his teeth, his handsome sharp feature almost distorted by anger, "That damn rat came up to me and said he didn't think he could trust you. He says you've probably gone over to Voldemort, because the dark Lord can give you what you've always wanted, that is the respect from others. Yes, _RESPECT_ \-- that rat really knew you and me well, didn't he? Such a compelling reason."

"But he has no proof, Sirius, " Remus's voice was almost heartbreaking. " _Proof._ "

Sirius closed his eyes in pain. "He didn't, " he said. "But at the time, I thought, with your intelligence, of course there would be no proof. "

"..."

"And I knew you were hiding something from me at the time, Remus, and I just don't understand -- I was _so_ scared, Remus. I damn well didn't want to admit it, but I was. "

"... I just,"said Remus finally,"I just had some personal emotional issues at the time. Nothing formal, just…purely personal."

"... Oh."

"Don’t. " Remus took a deep breath, and pressed down the soreness and burning pain under his eyes. After a long silence, he continued. "I think we both underestimated Peter, " he said. "He clearly knew us better than we thought, and certainly knew how to take advantage of our weaknesses. When he first came to me and told me he suspected you, he sounded so sincere, that I never thought he might be trying to drive a wedge between us."

" ** _What_**?! " Sirius suddenly looked up, eyes shocked, "so it was also because of him that you suspected me?"

"-- Yes." nodded Remus. “Now that I think about it, if I had been talking to you more, Peter wouldn't have caught me.”

The scene was still fresh in his memory. Peter's words and expression cut deep into his brain, clear and sharp as winter ice, making him shiver uncontrollably.

"Remus, seriously, I don't understand how you can forgive Sirius. I mean, how can you really trust him after all _that_ happened in the fifth grade? " Peter was almost terrified. His watery eyes looked so sincere, "I know you're kind, so kind Remus, but he almost turned you into a murderer. He almost sent you to Azkaban, Remus! If I were you, I would never forgive him, let alone befriend him again. "

" ... Peter, " Remus said as if a quiet warning, "Don't bring _that_ up. "

"I know you don't want to hear this, and I'm sorry, Remus, but I _have_ to say. " Peter insisted. "Seriously, after what he did, do you really think he cares about you? And if Sirius doesn't even care about you, how can he possibly care about James? "

Remus stared at Peter, one word after another. "he does. "

"Speak as you wish, Remus. But I don't know, I really don't. You’ll have to admit, Sirius can be very impulsive and headstrong sometimes. He doesn't think about consequences. " Said Peter. "Sometimes I think he's just like every other Black. No matter how much he claims to hate Bellatrix, Remus, he is exactly like his cousin, do whatever they please and care for nothing else --"

''--Peter!"

"Oh Remus, I'm sorry, I'm so _so_ sorry. " Peter seemed startled by his harsh tone, but his eyes were filled with genuine tears. "I don't want Sirius to be the traitor either, I really don't, you have to believe me. But if -- if he is, I don't want you to get hurt.You've always been my best friend, Remus, and I really don't want you to be betrayed by Sirius Black, _again_ **.** "

His voice was too sincere for Remus’s heart to bear. The mere fact that Peter suspected Sirius made him helpless and painful, not to mention that Sirius may be the traitor -- this mere thought was enough to gave him panic attack.

Remus hated this war. It was ripping them apart, ripping the trust between him and his friends, robbing them of the joy and love they once had, and keeping them in a restless shadow. No matter how hard they fought, there was no way they could stop the loss.

He closed his burning eyes, and tried to forget what Peter had just said.

 

Remus opens his eyes. Dim orange light streaming through his vision, he returned to this moment, this very summer night twelve years later. Sirius was looking at his with furious flames in his eyes. "What did he say, that bloody coward? "

Remus just shook his head and dropped his eyes. "It doesn't matter anymore, Sirius. " he said, as if it was a gentle but definitive vow. Remus looked up at Sirius again. "All that matters is , you're innocent, you didn't betray, and you still have a chance to make it up for Harry, to give him a home. "

Their eyes met in mid-air, deep and gentle, blending like coffee and milk.

Sirius'eyes flickered. He asked, a little hoarsely, "what about you, Remus? "

The Werewolf just shook his head and whispered, "Sirius, you have no idea how happy I was to find out you weren’t the betrayer. You just have _no_ idea. "

At that moment, Sirius sobbed. He grabbed Remus into his arms and lets 12 years of remorse and pain pour out, drowning them both: "Oh Merlin, Moony, I'm so **_so_** sorry…… "

"I know, " Remus quietly hugged him back, feeling Sirius’s spine and bones rise and fall under his palms, like a lone, silent mountain. "I know. "

Sirius folded his arms and held Remus in a suffocating embrace, as if holding the world in this one sole embrace. "Forgive me. " he whispered, suppressing a hoarse cry in his throat.

"It's all over, " Remus said, as he ran his fingers through Sirius’s dark hair, the whole world's tenderness between his fingers. "Shhh, Sirius. The dog days are all over now. "

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorrrrrrry for the late update, studying for master did dry me out  
> this chapter is sort of painful to put down


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